3 Year Old Politician Alayna just wouldn’t stay still and quiet in church today. After making it through half of the meeting, it was just too much to sit in the pew and we had to sit in the foyer for the rest of the meeting. Shortly after we set up camp on the comfortable sofa, the remaining families that have children the same age as Alayna joined us. This lead to quite an interesting lesson in social behavior; I’ve concluded that politician’s don’t behave like three year olds, three year olds are politicians.
The first step is the greeting. Alayna and her friend Mara saw each other from across the foyer and down the hallway. Alayna shouted, “Mara is here and she has a pretty purple dress!” Mara and Alayna greet with hugs and kisses and sit down next to me on the couch. They proceed to admire and complement each other’s dress.
Mara mentions that Alayna is her best friend. Alayna replies that Mara is, “her best friend, but that Alex is her bestest friend.” Needless to say, this hurts Mara. Mara whimpers that, “Alex is not your friend, I am your best friend.” Alayna knows this is an argument that can not be continued with that kind of logic, so she changes the subject with, “I have on my white Sunday shoes.”
Back to fashion and appearance. This should be an easy subject for a couple of girls to discuss, but they have ulterior motives. Alayna seeks for a weakness by asking, “Do you have a pink Sunday Dress?” Mara does not have a pink Sunday dress, she only has a Purple dress with flowers. Alayna senses the weakness and goes in for the kill, “Do you have lots of play dresses? I have lots of pink play dresses.” Mara does not have play dresses, she has to wear pants and shorts. Feeling bad for herself, she admits, “I don’t like my purple dress, I wish I had a blue Sunday dress.”
With her clear fashion superiority established, despite her closet full of hand-me-downs, Alayna has established a high ground that she feels comfortable enough to escalate her battle from. This is where she gets cocky. Mara is at least 15 pounds and 4 inches larger than Alayna. When the conflict escalates beyond words into battle, Alayna is at a bit of a disadvantage. First comes the tickling. The tickles start off cute and fun and gradually end up turning into a painful annoyance. In addition to the increased movement is the natural increase in voice level. At this point we have reached even the loosest interpretation of reverence in a church foyer and Dad has to step in to mediate the tickle fight.
After the tickle dispute reaches an uneasy cease-fire with no clear superior, Mara decides to try for the advantage by instigating a nose-stealing contest. Mara steals Alayna’s nose first and then proceeds to trade it out with her own nose, returning her nose to Alayna’s face. This is a difficult concept for Alayna to understand for a couple of reasons. Number one, her father stole her nose on the day she was born and has stubbornly refused to return it. Secondly, why would she possibly want to go about her life with another girls nose on her face? So Mara receives her nose back with a little too much emphasis. The only way to retaliate at this point is for Mara to attempt to steal Alayna’s eyes. Third party intervention by Dad is required again. This time, Mara is sent to her own corner of the foyer to regain strength from her family before returning.
After a cooling off period and under the watchful eye of both parties’ parents, the two rejoined at the neutral center of the foyer for a final goodbye as the two separated for their different primary classes. Hugs and kisses were exchanged and complements on dresses were given.
